BananaNanaNana

I found the lone banana Laffy Taffy hidden beneath the pile of cloying cherries and slutty strawberries. I picked aside the Bottle Caps and Runts and brought it into the light, and it tried to burrow away again, to hide itself from view.

"Little Banana-nana," I said, "why do you hide from me?"

"Oh," the banana taffy sighed, "I've heard the children as they yell for the red one, the blue one, the cherry, the grape. No one ever calls for banana. I'd just assume save them the trouble of tossing me aside."

I picked up a watermelon Dum Dum it had crawled beneath as it slipped between my fingers. "Silly Banana-nana," I said, "Taking the word of children."

"Don't tease me!" the banana taffy cried. "I've seen the looks the others give me. They think I'm ugly, yellow, and bland."

"Well you certainly are yellow," I agreed.

"Leave me alone!" the banana taffy sobbed, curling away from me. It dove into a pile of Gobstoppers, sending them rolling across the tabletop. "Just eat the cherry ones and go away!" came its muffled squeak.

"Oh, you silly Banana-nana," I said as I swept away the Gobstoppers. "Don't you understand?" The banana taffy did not respond; it only sulked like a spoiled cat. "Listen, Banana-nana, just because some people don't like the bananas is no reason to assume that no one does!"

The banana taffy poked out to look at me. "And you think someone does," it scoffed.

"That's what I'm trying to tell you." I offered in an encouraging smile. "Just because there are kids who don't understand the perfect joy of shaping a banana Laffy Taffy into a little banana and then eating it slowly so you can get the full flavor doesn't mean that they're all that foolish." I winked at it. "I mean, even you must realize that."

The banana taffy was losing its grip on its melancholy now. It struggled a bit, almost too afraid to let itself feel hope. "I don't know what you mean," it said, but I could tell it was lying. "I don't know where to find one who could like that."

"Well," I shrugged, and I waggled my eyebrows, "there's one right here."

"No," it said.

"Yes," I corrected.

"You're lying," it tried again.

"I would never," I assured it.

The banana taffy sat a moment, dumbfounded. It never imagined that this might happen. "Well then," it said, trying in vain to be nonchalant, "you...you wouldn't happen to..."

"I think I can decide for myself what I want," I told the little taffy, and I plucked it from the mound of candy.

"Careful!" it cried, and I shushed it. I began to peel back the wrapper and it squealed. "Not so fast!" the banana taffy ordered.

"Little Banana-nana, why wait any longer?" I pulled it from the plastic and began to roll it in my fingers.

The banana taffy trembled a little. "I've never felt like this before," it said in an awed whisper.

I shushed it again, saying "I know." I shaped it into a fat tapered tube and gave it a little curve. I pinched the ends and rolled them. "There you are," I told it, holding my little taffy banana up to the light.

"How wonderful!" the taffy banana exclaimed. "Who knew this day would come? Who knew I could feel so hap-"

The rest of its words disappeared as I ate it.

July 26, 2005 Mission STS-114

For what can be
when we content ourselves to day and night
And weak gravity?

Who will mourn
That we danced with Diana but a dozen times
In the time before?

Who will recall
When all have forgotten the quiet marble blue
beneath the fall?

And who will know
The darkest night split by day across the curve of sea
in the depths below?

Go then to see;
Bring back that gift which lies beyond our
short infinity

Teach us to learn,
and take heart, and fly with all God's speed
and safe return








"As our crew looks back at our beautiful planet and then outwards toward the unknown of space, we feel the importance, today more than any time, of space exploration to all those who are living on Earth. Our flight is the next flight of many in the human exploration of the universe. And finally, we reflect on the last shuttle mission, the great ship Columbia and her crew -- Rick, Willie, Mike, K.C., Dave, Laurel and Elan. We miss them, and we are continuing their mission. God bless them tonight, and God bless their families. Good night."

STS-114 Commander Eileen Collins

Movie Review: The Island

As always, I warn of Spoilers




The Movie in Question: The Island


I. Plot (20 points):
Okay, okay. We all know why I went to this movie, and it wasn't the plot that first grabbed me. Trying to pretend otherwise is insulting. But there was kind of an interesting premise in there... That whole 'are clones of humans human?' thing, and the 'would you buy a clone for spare parts if you could?' question as well. I remember sitting in my high school biology class with Coach Weaver prattling on up front about something or other (I never listened in that infamous class with its infamous Coach Weaver; to listen would be to detract from actually learning something. I had one of the highest test averages in that class but one of the lowest homeworks because I refused to do his busy work. That Church of Christ Sexist Creationist Jerk should not have been teaching that class) and out of the constant stream of "blah-blah-blah-blah" he says, "Wouldn't it be neat to have a clone of yourself? You could have him follow you around and use his parts when yours broke." And I remember thinking to myself, "Oh my God, this man has no idea about what constitutes life at all." Because even then it was obvious to me, a clone of a human being is still a human being! JESUS. Just because they have identical genetic material to one of the other billions of nearly identical poop machines running around the planet doesn't mean they don't have thoughts and feelings and blood running in their veins. The problem with the plot is that this question seemed as obvious to the creators here and so they pretty much just ignored it entirely. Are the clones human? Yes. RUN AWAY {aquafina} MINDLESS EXPLOSION RUN SOMEMORE {x-box} WE'RE ON A TRAIN HEY THAT GIRL LOOKS LIKE ME OMG I'M TOTALLY YOUR CLONE {cadillac} EXPENSIVE CAR LETS HAVE SEX BIG FAN BLOW UP GEE BOROMIR SORRY YOU BIT IT AGAIN {puma shoes}
Part I Total: 10 points


II. Acting (20 points):
Ah, here's the meat and potatoes for me. Because this movie stars a few of my current dream-haunts: Ewan McGregor's Mouth, Chin, and Forehead. Also his Chest, Back, and Arms. All that's missing is his wang, but I've seen that one enough for one lifetime. Oh who am I kidding. I could never get enough of that man's wang. I don't think you're going to get away from my Ewan McGregor bias (I can't help it, he has pretty eyes and an impish grin) but I'll try to be good here. Personally I thought he did a very good job with what he was working with, and I particularly liked him playing against himself. Scarlett Johansson was alright, I'm used to seeing better from her, but it may just be she's not exactly action movie stuff. Steve Buscemi played his skeezy but soft-hearted Steve Buscemi role to a tee, of course. And Sean Bean was...ah...Sean Bean...so debonair...yes Mr. Bean, I would like to go to dinner with you...wait...what was I talking about?
Part II Total: 15 points


III. Characters (20 points):
McGregor's two characters are summed up thusly:
Lincoln Six-Echo: I am curious and naive and I like puppies. Look at my wide blue-green eyes. Can I have some bacon?
Tom Lincoln: I caught hepatitis from a skank ho but I enjoy being a total shit too much to change my lifestyle. I'm just gonna buy another liver.

Merrick would have been an interesting character if he wasn't just a walking God Complex, a characteristic of his they explicitly mention once and imply again on a seperate occasion. Also I liked the one crazy clone with his trying to figure out the lottery, and the one resentful clone who had been there seven years.
Part III Total: 10 points


IV. Various Effects (20 points):
Now I'm finally going to touch on the Michael Bay thing. If there is one nice thing you can say about Michael Bay it's that he really knows how to shoot action without all the CG and things. The explosions were big and loud, the vehicles were fast, there were lots of impacts, lots of getting dirty and driving around... And the first hour of the film was the best part for me because for some reason I really liked the inside of the clone facility, it was so weird and white and structured, but I guess that was the point. The soundtrack is mindbogglingly hilarious; I think it was just one techno loop for two hours. Techno harsh beat while walking down the hallway as corridors whoosh past courtesy of a convenient Doppler effect. Nice.
Part IV Total: 15 points

V. Personal Modifiers (20 points):
Va. Wanton Cartoony Violence (2 points): 2 points
Lots. Of. Things. Blowing Up.
Vb. Morgan Freeman Factor (2 points): 0 points
Vc. Psuedo-Social Commentary (2 points): 2 points
Semi-relevant issues if they had actually gotten around to working with them
Vd. Ewan McGregor Factor (2 points): 2 points
YOU CANNOT LOOK AWAY FROM HIS MOLE
Ve. Smarminess/Wittiness (2 points): 2 point
There was some serious cheesy dialogue here...but I think Tom Lincoln was smarmy enough for everyone.
Vf. Liam Neeson Factor (2 points): 0 points
Vg. Gary Oldman Factor (2 points): 0 points
Vh. Kilt Factor (2 points): 0 points
Vi. Christopher Walken Factor (2 points): 0 points
Vj. Definitive Line of Dialogue (2 points): 2 points
"People will do anything to survive." Yeah, I noticed. Funny how these clones who are so desperate just for a chance to live are willing to injure and/or kill everyone who is opposing them with nary a flicker of conscience. Of course, it's ok, because they are all BAD MEN, EvilEwan included.
Part V Total: 10 points

VI. Bonus/Minus:
VIa. Other Movies I Thought Of (-1 point per movie): -2 points
1. Logan's Run: Guy and Girl on run from society trying to destroy them, need I elaborate?
2. The Matrix: Gee I'm glad this false reality is here to lend most of us that sense of vain complacency.
VIb. Degrees of Seperation from LOTR (1 point each): 1 point
Sean Bean, who plays the character Merrick, played Boromir in Fellowship and Two Towers.
VIc. Degrees of Seperation from Star Wars (1 point each): 1 point
Ewan McGregor of Obi-Wan Kenobi fame
VId. That Stupid Effect of Liquid Hitting the Camera Like We, the Audience, are Video-Taping the Events (-2 points): 0 points
VIf. Specific Other Things that Bothered or Amused Me (+/-1 point each):
1. Double your pleasure, double your fun! Two Ewan McGregors are better than one! 1 point
2. Scarlett Johansson is one hott lady, I must say. 1 point
3. Big honking fan: I know that thing will blow up by the end of the movie. And so it did. 1 point
4. Why is there a truck carting around train wheels when it was made clear earlier in the film that trains don't have wheels anymore?
-1 point
5. BOOM DAMN BOOM WEE 1 point
6. Ok, how can anyone fall eighty stories in a giant R and emerge practically unscathed? Even McGregor and Johansson's combined powers of THE SEXY wouldn't save them there. -1 point
7. "Contain the situation!" Yeah, sure, let me do that here by firing into the crowd in reckless abandon! -1 point
8. The sudden and unnecessary sex scene, dramatization as follows:
Jordan Two-Delta: Hey, gimme a kiss.
Lincoln Six-Echo: Oh my God you have BOOBS
*They get shirtless* 1 point
Part VI Total: 2 points

Total Points: 62 points

Summary: This is not the movie of the year. It was never going to be. It had the kiss of death as soon as it was given to Michael Bay. It is not a movie you should see if you want to think very hard about anything. But it is so freaking over-the-top (so over-the-top I don't think over-the-top describes how over-the-top it really was) all the time that I thought it pushed itself over the edge from terrible back to entertaining again. And if that doesn't inspire confidence, enjoy this picture from the movie set.

I'm Ewan McGregor and I'm eating what appears to be some sort of pie from the top of a trashcan!

*Yawn* like for serious

I saw The Island late on Friday, and Howl's Moving Castle earlier today, and tommorrow evening I'm off to see March of the Penguins. Movie reviews are coming, but I got three hours of sleep last night and I'm singing Mass tommorrow, so I think I'm turning in early.

I tore up my cuticles on my thumbs again. Woke up today with one thumbnail crusted in blood. I wrapped them up with some Neosporin (product placement: where's my paycheck?) so that I won't mindlessly attack them anymore.

I'm attempting to write a fantastical short story. All the fantastical stuff I ever seem to write becomes too epic and then I can't finish. All the short stories I write are either short snapshots of extremely flawed people or random bewildering oddities. But I'm trying to write something short and fantastical. Let's see if I can keep the 'making the picture way too big' thing under control.

CAUTION CAUTION WARNING WARNING

From NOAA:


...HOTTEST TEMPERATURES IN 3 YEARS FORECAST FOR THIS WEEKEND AND EARLY NEXT WEEK...

A RIDGE OF HIGH PRESSURE WILL BUILD INTO THE SOUTHERN APPALACHIANS AND TENNESSEE VALLEY OVER THE WEEKEND...CAUSING AFTERNOON TEMPERATURES TO RISE WELL INTO THE 90S AND THE HEAT INDEX TO RISE OVER 100 DEGREES AT MANY LOCATIONS. THIS IS THE FIRST HEAT WAVE OF THE SEASON...AND WILL PROBABLY BE THE HOTTEST WEATHER IN THE REGION SINCE THE SUMMER OF 2002.

THE HOTTEST TEMPERATURES AND HEAT INDICES WILL BE EXPERIENCEDTODAY THROUGH TUESDAY. SUNSTROKE...HEAT CRAMPS AND HEAT EXHAUSTION WILL BE POSSIBLE WITH PROLONGED EXPOSURE AND OR PHYSICAL OUTDOOR ACTIVITY.



I love how all of NOAA's bullitens are in all caps...

I just imagine this meterologist a la a summer ecological disaster movie in dirty shirtsleeves on his eleventh cup of coffee. He hasn't slept in twenty-seven hours. He is haggard and frenzied.

By God, he thinks, they won't listen to me in Washington. My only hope is the Interweb!

Then he FURIOUSLY pounds out the message on the keyboard, begging, pleading for attention. The masses must be warned! His voice must be heard!

"CAUTION," he yells to himself, "A LOW PRESSURE AREA IN THE GULF OF MEXICO HAS BECOME MORE ORGANIZED THIS AFTERNOON AND IS EXPECTED TO DROP THREE TO FIVE INCHES OF RAIN ON THE COAST OF ALABAMA AND FLORIDA LATER THIS EVENING OR EARLY TOMMORROW!"

Saturn and sentiments

I'm just sitting here wondering if Saturn can get any more ridiculously beautiful.

Really, I think the dang thing is just showing off now.


Right, now I'm off to put on some jeans and go buy a USA Today, as well as a soda and some food.

I was going to go in and pick up my paycheck today, but I overslept...I guess I'll go get it Monday. I feel bad though, because I wanted to go see Bryan. He's having some problems and needs to go in for surgery in a few weeks...he's such a good, nice boy, and I hope everything turns out for the best.

Melting

I don't know that the average human mind can grasp how mind-bogglingly sweltering it has been the past few days. I use the world 'sweltering' rather than 'hot', because where I live in Georgia is far enough from the interior of the continent that we don't often see the three-digit temperatures that grace those god-forsaken areas. We deal with the relatively balmy nineties.

Balmy probably isn't the right word. Relatively is more on the money. They would be balmy, if the dew point wasn't in the freaking seventies. This is where that handy word 'sweltering' comes in. Because there's ninety-six when you go outside and the sun is all you deal with, and then there's ninety-six when you walk outside and immediately the heaviness of the air collapses upon you and makes it near impossible to breathe. Tommorrow the forecast says ninety-three, but beneath it in tiny letters is the heat index, that lovely little heat index saying "feels like 103". And that's a huge difference in temperature. That is the kind of heat that works its way into the air itself, so that even the shade gives you no comfort. All you can do is turn on the AC and lay on the floor of the kitchen because it's tiled and the carpet in the living room is too hot. Everything is too hot. Cooking is out of the question. Everything is out of the question until the sun starts going down and the heat index drops into the low nineties. Then you can go outside and watch how the moisture that has soaked from the air into the soil releases itself back to the air again in great gasps of mist rising out of the dark green mountains. The haze and fading sunlight turns everything a deep golden color that fades quickly into blue; dark blue sky and indigo clouds and damp, misting air and cicadas. The moisture makes your hair curl, makes your clothes stick to your body, makes your skin clammy and tight. It settles into your bones and muscles, making you lethargic, drawing it all out into the misting hills. Then, turning in for the night with the AC on full and the blankets kicked down, you finally sleep and awake to a rainstorm, and realize all that precipitation will be back in the air again by noon.

Movie Weekend

Now that Miyazaki's film has finally made the rounds to Chattanooga, here is my movie agenda for the weekend, if I can work everything out.

Friday: The Island

Saturday: March of the Penguins

Sunday: Howl's Moving Castle


At the Rave, the Rave, and the Bijou, respectively

From now until Saturday evening my brother and I are entirely on our own, which I enjoy a great deal. He's been talking about going to school in Atlanta, and since Rome (where I shall be living come August 17th) and Atlanta are an hour apart we'd briefly discussed in passing perhaps splitting the difference and getting an apartment somewhere in between. I already drive half an hour everyday to school now, I could maintain it for another two years easy. Of course, this is unlikely, as he may stay in Chattanooga to take advantage of his connections with Dixie, and also, because even if he goes in Atlanta it may be a little unreasonable. But a girl can dream, can't she? Billy and I get on really well, and I feel like sharing an apartment with him would be enjoyable. I know I like spending evenings and Saturdays hanging out with him.

I would certainly like it better than staying in the dorms at Berry, as nice as campus is...I'm a little worried about the code of ethics. I mean, I'm a pretty good kid, when it comes down to it. I enjoy a beer or two now and then, but I harken to that whole 'moderation' thing pretty easily. I do my homework and I get good grades, I am polite and respectful, I do my best to be nice and friendly and not be a problem. But I like my personal space, and amidst my peers I'm known for being a little outspoken about a lot of things, and I just worry that it'll get me into trouble. I don't know. It's really true this is an entirely gray area, and I just really don't know. We'll have to see, I guess.

For now though, I'm enjoying my last few weeks of living at home, and living up the fact my parents are out of town by partying hard, yeah! By 'partying' I mean eating icecream and inviting one of my old high school teachers over to watch movies. Gah, I really am a good kid.

Musings on the Half-Blood Prince

Here we see the laziest coloring job ever (the lava is particularly impressive), but since they started calling Harry 'the Chosen One' on a regular basis this joke has not been very far from my mind.













Also:
RED + LAVENDER = SNOG??


Also Also:
Oh my god, JK Rowling, you are so terribly terribly cruel. You took that bad thing from the end of the last book and then recreated it as AN EVEN WORSE THING. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!

Waking up

So sometimes now,
When your face meets my dreaming eye
More often than my waking one,
I sit and think
That maybe it was all a dream
And I the dreaming fool.

Your sunturned face,
And caught light dancing at your jaw,
Quick sharp slope of brow and nose,
Those crinkling eyes,
That churning secret smile kept
There only for yourself;

Oh, are these things
of you or me? Of my mind or of your body?
Could I have dreamt them without you?
It matters not.
For real or not, they haunt me still,
And leave me empty-handed.

My dad hurt his knee yesterday. I came home from work to find him sitting on my couch, his knee curved over a pillow with the heating pad on. He had fallen half asleep watching TV, and when I kissed his forehead to say hello he mumbled at me.

Later while I was cleaning the kitchen, he came in to help me screw the cabinets back on since the paint was dry on them, and I said something like "No, Dad, it's cool, I've got it, go sit back down." and he gave me this look, this Don't make me old before God does kind of look. Silent and shamed and full of love, I watched him screw on the cabinets.

When he slowly, painfully ascended the stairs to go to bed, I picked up the screwdriver to make sure all the screws were tight.

They were.

APOD: 7/14

God's Spirograph

Catching up with The Boy Who Lived

I read Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone for the first time in the summer between my sophmore and junior years of high school. Because I'm American I apparently can't understand British English and thus was not able to procure a copy of Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone, despite the fact the philosopher's stone is an actual theoretical object from alchemy and the sorcerer's stone is something some editor made up to sell the book to American children who only ever seem to learn about Abraham Lincoln and Indians who wore feathered headbands in school. That being said, I love Abraham Lincoln with what can only be described as a soul-crushing hero-worship. The Second Inaugural Address (aka Lincoln's recap of 'how the country went to shit' and also where he says "With malice toward none, with charity for all, with firmness in the right as God gives us to see the right, let us strive...to bind up the nation's wounds...to do all which may achieve and cherish a just and lasting peace among ourselves and with all nations") sings with so much truth and lovely sadness I literally die a little inside. But I was talking about the little boy with a lightning bolt scar on his forehead here, not the man who was truly the greatest American president (I know you can hear me you Reaganophiles).

I decided to read Harry Potter because I was really curious what all the fuss was about. Living in the Bible belt means I encounter lots of people who think books like Harry Potter and Das Kapital and Catcher in the Rye and Origin of the Species are dangerous. I was kind of disappointed that I did not, in fact, imediately accept Satan as my overlord and develop devastating skills in Black Magic. However, I was delighted to find a very clever story, one that isn't watered down for kids, retaining enough to be charming and funny and intensely readable. I read Chamber of Secrets next, and then went to the library to borrow Prisoner of Azkaban and Goblet of Fire, which I devoured. Goblet of Fire was particularly good, and also kind of scary, especially there at the end. Voldemort ends up making a pretty intimidating villian for a dead guy.

Junior year happened to be the year my legendary introvert/extrovert flipover happened, the year I decided to stop moping about moving 400 miles and finally get some goddanged friends already, and it just so happened my then-aquaintance in first period Amber Plemmons had also read the books that summer. So that started a dialog (and a friendship which culminated with me as her maid of honor at her wedding in February 2004) and ended up being our obsession for a number of months, a great number of months. This also happened to be the year the first movie came out, so you can imagine, two sixteen year olds going to see a movie of a book they have become obsessed about...yeah... I happen to be a professional geek, I can obsess about the most random things without even trying, and something with a built-in franchise like that is just asking for trouble. I have no idea how much money Amber and I spent seeing that movie over and over or buying the toys and giggling like mad over our numerous and inexplicable in-jokes. I think we remained enamoured of the young heros (she always liked Harry best, but my heart belonged to the young Ron Weasley, brave and brash and clumsy and in the shadows) until our graduation, though by that time it had gotten mixed up with our mutual love for Lord of the Rings, Star Wars, and diminished in intensity.

That was the summer The Order of the Pheonix came out, and we went to the midnight party together of course (though by this time Amber was either engaged or well on her way to being so, and we were kind of drifting apart over it) and then we got that monster of a book and began to read it in the car on the way home. I read that book in two days, and went I got to the end I felt so deflated, it really wasn't as good as the other four. So my fanatical devotion rather dwindled then, and I moved on to obsess over other things, like Richard Feynman, and the unit circle. If you were to ask me now what my biggest obsession is (I have so many) I would probably have to make some mention of Ewan McGregor's huge smile and crinkley eyes. Yes, I am seeing The Island a week from Friday, and yes, I know it will be terrible. I wasn't excited about the then-unnamed sixth book at that time, because there were three years between GOF and OOTP, so I knew I had a awhile to wait, and also, if it was anything like OOTP then I wasn't looking forward to it that much.

Then, early this year, I was shopping around at Barnes and Noble (as is my wont) and I noticed a sign, "PREORDER YOUR COPY OF HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF-BLOOD PRINCE TODAY!", and so I did as the sign commanded, because I know how those books sell out. Then I promptly forgot about it for six months. While the Harry Potter fanbase ran amuck trying to figure out who the half blood prince is, who might die in this one, who the shadowy shapes in the background of the unveiled bookcover might be, I went on about my business as usual, helping people with their College Algebra and PreCalculus, studying Western Literature from the Age of Reason onward, freaking out about Episode Three on an epic scale that involved t-shirts and a folding chair and waiting in line for hours on end and hugging Jango Fett.

But slowly it began to creep in the back of my mind, the seed starting to sprout, and then, a few days ago, I suddenly realized: Holy shit, Harry Potter is totally coming out this Saturday. And so now that I am less than forty-eight hours from finding out the identity of the Half-Blood Prince and learning if the terrible thing that happened at the end of the last one really happened and reading this next to last installment of this charming series, I am overcome with a sudden and inexpressible desire to call Amber in Nebraska where she lives with her husband and scream, "FLY DOWN TO GEORGIA SO WE CAN PUSH ALL THE KIDS OUT OF THE WAY WHEN WE GO TO STAND IN LINE!"

Crazy Rag-doll bubble thing

Oh my god

this is too creepy

Follow-up

FLORIDA, LOOK OUT

For you!

Kissy Kissy

Mix Nate, Paula, and Kevin and what do you get? Part 2

ST. AUGUSTINE PART TWO

You didn't believe me about the pirate thing did you? Well be prepared to be amazed!

On the second day after we went out to the beach, we went by the St Augustine lighthouse. Somehow we managed to find it on the first try, no turn arounds or anything. Which is incredible. Well, at least for me it's incredible. Inside the little museum/gift shop at the front building there was this ships wheel to play with...I took one grab at it and instantly starting doing a pirate thing...and Kevin snapped the Pirate Face picture. And if that's not terrifying enough for you, try this variation on for size. I'm telling you, I am so unimaginably fantastic. Seriously.

In that little house we paid the admission fee (everything in St Augustine had admission/parking fees, but thankfully they were never more than eight dollars or so) and got our little wristbands showing we could in fact enter the grounds and go on the little nature walk over to the lighthouse proper. That was a fun little walk. The day was getting hot but it was nice and cool and misty in all those trees...one thing for Florida, lots of nice trees. We were tromping around, myself in the lead, until suddenly I pulled up short and the guys comically collided with my back. I had a very good reason to stop, though it was not immediately obvious to them. The reason I stopped is in the next photo.

What, are you having a hard time seeing that? Let me help you out there.

This huge spider had strung up a completely invisible but undoubtably enormous web across the path. I don't think I would have noticed it at all until walking right through it if I hadn't seen the spider suddenly appearing two inches in front of my nose. That gave me a nice case of the shivers, I'll tell you. Spiders don't usually bother me so much, but I do like to give them their space. And that thing had a leg span the size of my hand. I would not have enjoyed it in my hair.

After the adventures through the forest, we made it over to the lighthouse itself. That lighthouse was great. Even had the every-lighthouse spiral stripe. Awesome. The little house in the bottom had a bucket you could pick up to feel how heavy all the oil the lighthouse keeper had to carry up the stairs to the light was...and let me tell you, I never would have cut it as a lighthouse keeper. I am made of pudding. I never would have been able to carry that bucket across the grounds, let alone up all those stairs.

The stairs, in theory, were not that daunting. But there were 219 of them, and it was late June in Muggyville, USA. So that was an interesting kind of fun. But they had the same aesthetic beauty of a conch shell, so we'll forgive them. And besides, the view at the top was ridiculously gorgeous.

See the blue sky? Nice change after the previous day's rain.

Kevin spent a little time pointing this view out to us, before I used the opportunity to push him to his death.

After I reanimated Kevin's corpse (hey, what kind of friend do you think I am?) we retired to the Gypsy Cab Company for lunch, gathering nourishment that would sustain us through the next stage of our adventures.

To clean or not to clean

I'm debating whether or not to clean my room.

I figured I'd give you the annotated version and let you, the reader, decide for me.

Movie Review: War of the Worlds

As always, I warn of Spoilers



The Movie in Question: The War of the Worlds

I. Plot (20 points):
Okay, the plot isn't terrible. It is anticlimatic, but the anticlimax itself is directly from the old novel, so I'm not going to fault the movie that. But neither is it great. My big problem with the plot is the machines themselves; I have a huge problem with the fact that the machines are seemingly built to target specifically humans, yet they were supposedly placed on Earth long long ago, say, before humans evolved to this point? Wow, can the aliens see into the future? You'd think if they could do that they'd see how everything was going to turn out, what with the Earth sickness and everything...
Part I Total: 10 points

II. Acting (20 points):
I'm going to be lenient on the acting here for a very specific reason: that I wasn't thinking of Scientology the entire time. Somehow Tom Cruise managed to make me forget about that for a little while, so I give him some points. Also Tim Robbins somehow managed to be scarier than the big tripod-things. Nice. However, I am sick of Dakota Fanning being in more movies than Jude Law, so minus five points there.
Part II Total: 15 points

III. Characters (20 points):
I didn't care about any of these characters, and I felt the whole thing with the son, the whole "You have to let me go, I have to see this" thing, was really contrived and unnecessary. The whole deadbeat dad to hero thing was an interesting premise but I felt like the follow-through was haphazard, and then they magically all loved each other again at the end. Weee...
Part III Total: 5 points

IV. Various Effects (20 points):
This is where the strength of the movie is, the visuals and sound are fantastic, and the pacing is very good. The suspense is almost too much at times, you kind of get sick of the running, oh we're safe, no we're not, let's run some more, now we're safe, oh we're wrong again! thing...but all and all I thought it was pieced together pretty well. The best scene was that one where the first tripod comes out, that whole sequence with the buildings and windows shattering and the road cracking and then the tripod coming out was great. And the tripods themselves, they were pretty glorious; I know I'm gonna be making that BAAAAM-buuuum noise for weeks
Part IV Total: 20 points

V. Personal Modifiers (20 points):
Va. Wanton Cartoony Violence (2 points): 2 points
Vb. Morgan Freeman Factor (2 points): 2 points
Morgan Freeman voiceover...nice
Vc. Psuedo-Social Commentary (2 points): 1 point
I'm not going to count this fully, because the old movie made a commentary on nuclear war that was distinctly absent in this one, but I did like it when the little girl screamed "Is it the terrorists?!"
Vd. Ewan McGregor Factor (2 points): 0 points
Ve. Smarminess/Wittiness (2 points): 1 point
"This is something else." "What, Europe?"
Vf. Liam Neeson Factor (2 points): 0 points
Vg. Gary Oldman Factor (2 points): 0 points
Vh. Kilt Factor (2 points): 0 points
Vi. Christopher Walken Factor: 0 points
Vj. Definitive Line of Dialogue (2 points): 1 point
I'm not giving the full score here because while "For neither do men live nor die in vain" is a great line, it doesn't compare to the line of the novel that says "And as I looked at this wide expanse of houses and factories and churches, silent and abandoned; as I thought of the multitudinous hopes and efforts, the innumerable hosts of lives that had gone to build this human reef, and of the swift and ruthless destruction that had hung over it all; when I realised that the shadow had been rolled back, and that men might still live in the streets, and this dear vast dead city of mine be once more alive and powerful, I felt a wave of emotion that was near akin to tears."
Part V Total: 7 points

VI. Bonus/Minus:
VIa. Other Movies I Thought Of (-1 point per movie): -3 points
1. Donnie Darko (when the plane had fallen on the house)
2. Fiddler on the Roof (when all the refugees were walking along between an old fence and a farmhouse, I kept hearing "Anatevka, Anatevka, underfed, overworked, Anatevka" in my head)
3. Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (that scene where Tom Cruise comes over the ridge and sees the valley beneath covered in the red weed)
VIb. Degrees of Seperation from LOTR (1 point each): 1 point
1 degree of seperation; the mother was played by Miranda Otto, who was Eowyn in Lord of the Rings
VIc. Degrees of Seperation from Star Wars (1 point each): 3 points
3 degrees of seperation; Tom Cruise was in Vanilla Sky with Cameron Diaz, who starred in A Life Less Ordinary with Ewan McGregor who was Obi-Wan Kenobi in Episodes I through III
VId. That Stupid Effect of Liquid Hitting the Camera Like We, the Audience, are Video-Taping the Events (-2 points): -2 points
VIf. Specific Other Things that Bothered or Amused Me (+/-1 point each):
1. The BAM-bum noise. 1 point
2. Uh...why exactly was that guy's camera working in that scene with the first tripod? -1 point
3. The red weed looked exactly like liquorice, and liquorice is delicious. 1 point
4. Big. Nasty. Sphincter. Creepy-factor skyrocketing. And not the good, Christopher Walken kind of creepy. More the vaguely uncomfortable, "bring out the gimp" kind. -1 point
5. Alien plays with Bicycle. Bicycle falls on Alien. Alien reacts like a toddler. 1 point
6. Aliens apparently like scrapbooking. But, you know, who doesn't?
1 point
7. Crazy Tim Robbins 1 point
8. I AM MONSTER TIP OVER BOAT AAARRRR 1 point
Part VI Total: 3 points

Total Points: 60 points

Summary: War of the Worlds wasn't the best movie I've ever seen but neither was it the worst. I actually kind of enjoyed it, and I thought it was worth seeing in the theatre. I wouldn't buy the DVD, but I might rent it for one or two viewings.

7/7/2005

Well I finally got off my egocentric run-about long enough to check the news and what I find immediately shames me.

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry that while I go to class and come home and bake cookies and post pictures on the internet, that you are out there hurting and crying and wishing time could go back a day. I'm so sorry.

My heart goes out to those who have been hurt or killed and to those who have lost loved ones in London on Thursday, July 7, 2005.

I hope and pray that one day we will all smile again.

Mix Nate, Paula, and Kevin and what do you get? Part 1

Note from the blogger: Kevin took all these pictures, because I was on video camera detail and I only took two photos.


ST AUGUSTINE

City of historic stuff! And useless knicknacks displaying said historical stuff!

We basically set in our minds we wanted to go to the beach, but not simply for the beach. I think Kevin posed the idea, and I pretty much just agreed and tagged along with my two guys.

We set out early (well, I consider 7:30 early, as I am a creature of the NIGHT) last Wednesday and then proceeded to spend nearly ten hours (aka way too long) in the car. I mean, there are longer drives, of course, than a gentle ten hours with occasional stops to refresh ourselves. Not to mention I spent probably about three or four hours of it sleeping...but if you think I'm being unreasonably spoiled here than you obviously don't know how my friends (these two in particular) and I display our affection for one another, which generally consists along the lines of being as totally annoying as we can possibly be, like 'ohmigod, please shut up now before I strangle you to death with this package of delicious Twizzlers' kind of annoying is what I'm talking about here. And I'm just as guilty of it as they are, believe you me.

Most of the drive was just down I-75 through Georgia (the tallest state on EARTH), which was nice, because it's a pretty state and the roads are terrific. Somewhere along the way we got to joking about how the roads are so good in Georgia that anywhere else seems terrible--I mentioned driving up to Kentucky and being flabbergasted by the condition of I-65 (and I grew up in southern Illinois, where the only paved road outside of town was RR1, so that's really something here)-- and so somehow it got to be a joke about how the roads in Florida were made of rocks and sticks and bones, and that I-10 was The Road of Bones in particular. I think we were ignoring the fact that Siberia already has one, and that theirs is genuine. This led to me making the "Road of Bones" face, which I can't really describe, it can only be truly realized when you've been in the car for seven and a half hours drinking apple juice boxes and IBC root beer, hopped up on Oh's! cereal and honey roasted peanuts. The Face unfortunately does not translate into photographs, but we did manage to get it on camera. So at least posterity will know that great beauty even if it cannot be displayed on this blog.

Well, we survived The Road of Bones all the way to Jacksonville because we are awesome like that, and then we finally saw a St Augustine exit, just hanging there, just shining there above the road like a shaft of light from heaven. I mean, really, there were angels singing, and I'm not just talking about Sam Beam. Once we got on 295 it was just a quick jaunt around the city to I-95 and then south from there some twenty-odd miles and THEN--dun da dun-- There we were, St. Augustine.

Of course, it was pouring. Literally, pouring. Of course.

Between the three of us squinting out the windows, peering through the torrential downpour for the road signs we somehow managed to find our way to the beachfront and our hotel. We're lucky it was on A1A. We pulled in and Nathan was brave enough to jump out of the car to go check us in. Not that it mattered, really, because Kevin and I parked and then decided we'd run inside too, a completely useless gesture. We picked up our room keys and a parking permit that let us park in the parking lot around the back, which was not so much a parking lot as it was a lake comparable to Okechobee. Seriously, I think it was Okechobee. Crazy Florida and its being nearly sea-level...I think we parked in about four inches of standing water, all I know it it completely covered my feet and went partway up my calves. I was wearing jeans (because I always wear jeans, I own one pair of shorts and I wear them on my jean-warshing day) and it soaked them up to my knees. Three days later that pair still wasn't dry. But I'm getting ahead of myself here. We squished our way up to our room in our wet clothes, and it wasn't a bad room. It was a Holiday Inn, so it was about what you would expect. Things were clean and the beds were comfy, and that's all you need, really.

Kevin and I decided to brave it out to go get as much stuff out of the car as we could, but Nate decided to stay in the room and get his stuff later. He was bummed out about the weather, but Kevin and I kept reminding him that it wasn't going to rain continuously for 72 hours there on the coast, and that, really now, it was just a bit of rain, right? We ran out to the car and grabbed some bags and ran back in, and then set out to get the rest of it we couldn't carry the first time through, and I swear to God, immediately after we pulled all that stuff out of the car it stopped raining. It was like, torrential downpour, blink, nothing. Jee-zus. If we had gotten there twenty minutes later it wouldn't have mattered at all.

Well, we decided that we'd go check out the beach in the light smattering of precipitaion that continued...We all changed into our various swim attire, though I was a little embarrassed because I had one of those maxiumum cleavage swimsuits and I felt a little silly. But how can I feel silly about myself when I've got a guy like Nathan around, seriously.

We ran about on the beach for a time, and I nervously picked about in the water while the boys ran amuck. I kept saying things like "look at those waves, please don't go out to far, I don't want you to drown or get eaten by a shark, watch out for jellyfish!" because I'm half-worrywart, on my mother's side. Unfortunately there were no pictures taken at this time because it was still kind of raining (more of a occasional splattering, really) and we didn't want our Precious Electronic Equipment (tm) to get damaged. After dipping in the pool for a time, and learning Nathan doesn't know how to swim (!), we decided to get something to eat. I was ravenous and getting pretty grouchy, so we looked through the phonebook to find a place that sounded good and was on A1A. We picked some place called Papagallos, but when we went to look for it, it kind of...er...wasn't there. Nathan ran into a hotel and got directions to another place called Sunset Grille, which, despite being crazy overpriced, was delicious. We all shared this artichoke, spinach, crab fondue thing (oh my lord), and then I got lobster ravioli. Oh man. That ravioli. Oh man. If Bush wasn't proposing that amendment to make marriage between a man and a woman, you'd better believe...

After that I was damn tired, because I have sleeping habits that no sane person could abide by, so I let to boys go out to run on the beach (they apparently made a very short zombie movie using the video camera and Nathan's shoe) while I took a nice hot shower and slipped into my pajamas. When the boys came back in we watched the Daily Show and then decided to call it a night. BEFORE MIDNIGHT?! GASP! We are all getting so old...



We woke up the next day and decided to make our way down to the beach to take some nice pictures, as it was clearing up from the previous evening. It was still kind of cloudy, but things were looking promising. About this time came the point when I took my two pictures, because the sea beneath blue sky and clouds is one of those things you just feel you have to take a picture of, and then later, when you look at the picture, you are always disappointed, because it never compares. Unfortunately my two little sea photos did not turn out, which is why they are not here when Kevin snapped this rather nice one.

He also seems to have a knack for taking pictures of me looking displeased. I promise I wasn't unhappy! I promise I had a great time, honest! Somehow he just times it right when I have the look on my face like, 'Oh gee, the ocean, big whoop, I have only been landlocked since the day I was born'. It isn't like that, I can assure you.





Heads up, because in the next part, I am totally a pirate.

Our dichotomy opens the combat

Truly this english to chinese to english translation of Revenge of the Sith will go down as the finest literature.

Here and there and happenings

I'm working on a "My adventures in St Augustine!"-type post, but I'm having to resize all the pictures because Kevin likes to take them at a ridiculous quality, so you'll have to be patient with me, oh faithful readers (or reader, I think. Hi Trevor)

Billy went in for his MRI today, which has turned me into a mass of nervousness... A few weeks ago he noticed discomfort with his left eye, and about a week and a half ago he realized he had a blind spot about the size of a thumbprint at a handsbreadth distance. He went to the doctor about it, and they said he had a dead nerve, that the spot would probably shrink with time but never completely go away. They also said that, (and I hate it when they say this) while it was probably nothing, he would need to go make sure everything was hunky dorry with his brain. Yeah. Great. Thanks. Not to worry us or anything. Just ticking off the possibilities is enough to make my normally controllable paranoia register off the scale... Forgetting that my eldest brother and good friend is as I type this having his brain scanned from the inside out is not something that I'm likely to accomplish in the next millenia.

Funnily enough Billy and I were just discussing my paranoia, and how I had come by it rather honestly...in the next moment, I did a credible impression of our mother, "I don't want you sleeping in that back bedroom because the trees in the backyard might fall over and crush you in the night!" and that made us laugh. He said he was surprised Mom was letting me go to Florida, what with all the shark attacks, and I'll admit, when I was swimming in the ocean, it was something none too far from my mind. But at least I know where I get it.

In completely unrelated news, I seem to have pulled a muscle in my foot, because whenever I bend it a certain way it dissolves into an amorphous blob of hurt. Now I can walk around no problem, and as long as I don't move it too much it's not a big deal, but twisting it to push it into my tennis shoe.....ouch....